The Alchemy Fluffle of the Department of Plant Transmutation is proud to offer products especially formulated for human skin. (Of course we simply repackaged our fur, feet, and ear formulas, but as it turns out- it works just as well! We assure you that no humans were harmed during product testing.)
The Alchemists transmute plants into oils and then into new substances that can provide medicinal, spiritual, recreational, or therapeutic uses. Our works include soap, skincare, furcare, and specialty fragrance blends. Aromatherapy is widely used among bunnies for all sorts of reasons, and though all bunnies have been trained in this as a part of their Caretaker education, it is the Alchemists who refine and perfect the more complex blends.
Long ago, when the Alchemists were tasked with designing the formula used for the large Soaphenge that stands in the center of the warren, many small sects scattered across the forest so that they might work in peace and secrecy. These sects used to meet every year to share findings and normalize data, but the rogue sects became rather wild and stopped reporting to the meetings.
THIS Alchemist team was formed by the most lucid members that reported to the last annual meeting. In addition to our plant transmutation, the refining and perfecting of the Soaphenge formula is an ongoing art and dare we say hobby! The current Alchemist roster is as follows: Lead Alchemist Larch Pinegrove (hi!), Alchemist Hazel Thornbush, Alchemist Garland Mossthicket, Alchemist Olive Sunblossom, and Apprentice Alchemist Pansy Pinkpetal.
As a rule, Alchemists are offbeat bunnies that do not normally crave lots of warren interaction. We have been known to create private laboratories far and wide- sometimes outside of the realm of protection with the occasional disastrous clash with humans. Somewhat recently, and we are not entirely sure what happened, but we believe a group of human children mistook some of our Sigil of Concealment stones as “Easter eggs” and removed them from their location…. leaving one of our remote alchemy labs exposed.
Humans pilfered some of our products and our recipes. They continued coming back to poke around for more, so to keep them out of our forest, we were forced to hire a human consultant to mediate. She’s done fine for the most part, but we prefer to handle our own communication from now on. She’s okay and all, but now we mainly use her only for carrying large boxes and human events and stuff like that.
Though all bunnies share some degree of passion for human ephemera, the Alchemist Fluffle still felt that this was out of their scope and additional help would be needed to tackle this new human market.
It quickly became apparent that we needed a specialty Human Advertising Team (HAT). We pulled the most relevant members from the most relevant Fluffles to form a diverse team that would be able to pull together to overcome any and all obstacles.
The Human Advertisting Team (HAT) consists of Alchemists, Ephemerists, Paperists, Glassers, and consultants from the Bureau of Rain of the Reliquary of Wisdom. HAT analyzes the Human Ephemera collection in the Vault of the Reliquary of Wisdom and makes the decisions regarding collections and product names based on what they deem relevant to human interests. Frankly, we just let them do their thing.
This is a good time to mention that bunnies are of course not normally held to the standards of your human FDA, but we strive to meet all of their relevant requirements. Product and ingredient descriptions are for educational purposes only and make no claims to treat or cure any human malady. All information divulged about the Arcane Bunny Society is for entertainment purposes only, especially because you are not bunnies and therefore who knows that would happen.
-Lead Alchemist Larch Pinegrove
(And if you insist on talking to the human previously handling our communication, you can find out more about her on our FAQ page!)